


Oh the Places They'll go

by Who_First



Category: Batman (Comics), Bunnicula - James Howe, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Lupin III
Genre: Action, Crossover, Gen, bad assery, lots of action, that may or may not be continued
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-08
Updated: 2012-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-03 07:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_First/pseuds/Who_First
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four worlds that Tim and Cass may or may not be accidentally transported to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bunnicula

It had been a case of bad luck. Seriously bad luck. Batman had been fighting the man when Tim and Cass arrived as back up, neither of them or Bruce knew that the man was using magic. So when he whipped out a wand and swirling vortexes spun into life, one opened beneath Tim’s feet and he was falling before he knew what was happening. Even Cass jumping out to catch his hand didn’t stop them from slipping through the glowing portal.

They landed hard onto asphalt, Tim groaned as his head hit the ground, then Cass fell on top of him. Tim gasped, she might need to lose a little weight, as she pushed against his chest and sprang upwards. She stayed in attack mode though, staring around their surroundings, until she was sure it was safe enough to let Tim up.

They appeared to be in… the suburbs. Which made Tim really wish that they carried emergency civilian clothing, they stood out a little bit in their full uniforms and gear. But the clothing wouldn’t fit into the utility belts and unless it was Halloween in which case they were good.

Okay they stood out a lot but at least it was nice and dark out. If this place when close to the same time as Gotham than it would be around 2 am and hopefully there wasn’t much risk of being seen.

“Are you okay Cass?” Tim asked quietly, as he stood up.

“Good.” Cass murmured back, she was circling around Tim, keeping her eyes open for signs of anyone or anything out of the ordinary. Besides them.

“Great.” Tim pushed at her worried hand. “Cass… is that a bunny?”

The older vigilante whirled around staring downwards at where Tim was looking. Vigilantes, unlike a lot of people, looked all around and upwards just in case. But looking down when you were already on the ground wasn’t all that common. Unless you dealt with a lot of underground criminals.

But this was a bright white bunny with red eyes just sitting delicately on the sidewalk and watching them. In the middle of the night.

“Fluffy.” Cass cocked her head as Tim bent down and picked up the sedate creature. “Be careful.”

“It’s a bunny Cass. But there’s something vaguely frightening about having loose bunny rabbits in the suburbs.” Tim muttered as he pulled the fluffy creature against his chest and rubbed his hand along the soft fur. “I wonder where it lives.”

A shrug was Cass’s answer, Tim was proud to note that she was getting better at shrugs now they just needed to work on her sign language, and why was she looking at him like that?

“What?”

Cass was frowning at Tim, well the bunny Tim was cuddling, the very cute and fluffy white bunny.

“Not right.” Cass finally muttered.

“Okay… What’s not right?” Tim asked slowly. If the bunny was secretly a time bomb about to go off he would like to know that. Sadly knowing his life there was a good possibility that he would eventually run into ‘Bunny Bombs’.

Cass remained silent, pursing her lips and twisting her fingers as she tried to find the right words. The whole while she was glaring at the small bunny cuddling against Tim’s chest.

“Bunny is…” She held up two fingers finally, bouncing them in front of her face and baring her teeth.

“What?” Now Tim was frowning, he was pretty sure that Cass wasn’t making bunny ears, but that left a whole lot that she could be trying to say. “Cass?”

“Bunny…” Cass looked frustrated, and slightly panicky as the bunny nosed at Tim’s shirt, pulling at her cape as she tried to _not_ rip the bunny away.

She was interrupted again when a dog ran up to them, big happy looking, with a bright orange cat on it’s back. Cass was tensing, and Tim really needed to convince her animals were not something to be scared of… well normally.

“Whoa…” Tim danced back a few steps, holding the rabbit higher against his neck as the dog nosed his stomach. It was a really big dog and was it normal for cats to look so irritated?

“Good doggy, don’t eat the little bunny.”

Cass on the other hand seemed to take the new animals much better, dropping to her knees and staring the dog in the eye, before very carefully leaning back on her knees and digging in her belt.

“Cass is that a candy bar? Dogs can’t eat chocolate it’s poisonous.” Tim rolled his eyes upwards, just pet the bunny and everything would work out. “Why do you even have a candy bar in your belt?”

“Hush. He likes. Very tasty.” Cass held out part of her candy bar and grinned brightly when the dog gently took it from her hand. The cat looked even more irritated.

“Cass…” Tim frowned as the cat pawed at him again, nothing so orange and fluffy should look so irritated... unless it was Babs. That would normal than.

“They want their bunny back.” Cass looked up from where she and the dog were communicating silently. “Also don’t leave bunny by neck. Very dangerous.”

Tim paused looking down, now the cat was looking smug up at him, and both Cass and the dog had the same expecting expression. Honestly it was like watching puppies.

“Okay.” Tim moved slowly, bending down. Cass was rarely, as in never, wrong about things but he’d never heard of dogs and cats and bunnies getting along.

The dog started panting happily, wet tongue sliding up Tim’s face before it licked the rabbit too, letting the cat paw at the bunny until Tim placed it on the dogs back.

“Good.” Cass nodded again as the dog started backing up, the cat carefully laying around the rabbit and keeping it in place as the dog carefully nudged both Cass and Tim into moving before heading towards the houses, looking back to make sure that they were following.

“So…” Tim asked as they slowly trailed after the animals. “Why shouldn’t I hold the bunny by my neck?”

“Blood sucking.” Cass nodded firmly, wriggling her fingers by her teeth again, as she let Tim take her cape. “Danger bunny.”

Tim stopped watching as Cass continued on.

“Are you telling me it’s a vampire bunny rabbit?!”


	2. Lupin the Third

Cass had dove after her little brother when he started falling through the glowing portal, it didn’t matter where it would lead, no one could take her little brother away. Batman would take care of the man making the glowing doorways and she would make sure that little brother wouldn’t get into any more trouble.

Timothy was hard to keep out of trouble but he was _her_ little brother and she would keep him safe.

When the glowing portal ended, and tile started rushing towards her face, Cass flipped quietly landing in a roll to her knee and outstretched foot. Glancing around the room for Tim, letting the short staves drop into her hands, as she readied for attack.

“Hi cutie~ Oooh tight outfit but you really don’t want to hang around here.”

Arms were around Cass before she could decide whether to attack or not, pulling her along as the woman started running, she started struggling then. _Need to find Tim_. Not let a woman run off with her.

She could see the shadows of others running ahead as the woman was dragging her along, at least three men and possibly someone being carried, _Tim_?

“No, no honey. We need to run faster.”

Cass ripped at her full cowl, yanking it off, in desperation to talk with the woman so intent pulling her somewhere _, little brother!_ , away from where she’d been dropped.

“No!” Cass grabbed at the woman’s arms where they were wrapped around her. “Please little brother!”

“Brother?” The woman was  still dragging her, very strong, as Cass tried to dig in her heels. “Small in an outfit like yours? We got him, now lets catch up!”

Now Cass was running just as fast as the other woman was pulling her, just in time as things started exploding. The arm around her shoulders forced her downwards more, bending to avoid the flying bricks and splinters blasting outwards.

The makeshift door, a perfectly circular hole the wall, appeared and Cass was pushed through it the taller woman just behind as they started rolling and skidding down a steep hill. Cass squeaked as she was yanked backwards, firm female arms and soft chest, even as they kept sliding down the hill.

Then they were hitting flat ground and she kept going, half picking Cass up half dragging her forwards, racing for the open topped bright yellow bug like looking car. It was already starting to move, thick black smoke pouring out the tail pipe, and she could see men sitting in the car-

_Little brother?!_

“Make room boys, ladies are always.”

Cass watched wide eyed as her rescuer seemed to sail into the car, like she was floating, with a grace that Cass couldn’t imagine moving with. Thoughts quivered and vanished as Cass was pulled over the car doors into the woman’s lap.

“Fujiko baby! Your girlfriends almost as cute as you~”

Cass leaned back as the man in the front seat leered at her and waggled his eyebrows. That was her little brother held in his lap as he made faces. She couldn’t let someone so obviously obsessed with sex touch her baby brother!

“Go on Jigen, I’m ready for you~” Fujiko leaned back, happily keeping her arms wrapped around Cass’s waist and nuzzling at her neck, as the engine was gunned and the old car took off like a bat out of hell.

“Fuji-baby~ don’t I get a kiss?” The dark haired man was still grinning, patting Tim’s head as the young man groaned and swiped a heavy hand against his apparent rescuer. “Look I saved someone!”

“Lupin, your actions offend.” This from the swordsman besides Cass, she didn’t need to see the long carefully held sword to know the man wielded it, as he glared at the happy man.

The driver started laughing, making Cass wrinkle her nose at the cigarette he was smoking, one hand on the wheel and the other dragging his hat lower. The car going even faster with the explosions behind them seeming to push them along.

Now that she knew her brother was safe, even if she needed to teach someone a lesson after they stopped, Cass looked back over her shoulder to see the building that she and their rescuers had escaped from. A huge ornate looking building, or at one point had been, blowing up in sections the further away they drove from it. Then there was one last explosion, shaking the whole car and making the driver swear as he fought the wheel to keep the car on the road, the entire building and the slope she’d slid down exploding in to debris and dust and flying weapons.

“Ahh man-“

Cass stopped listening as the men started fighting, turning back and leaning forwards, gently pulling the mask of before pressing her fingers lightly against Tim’s forehead and feeling the tacky blood drying on his face. _Bad luck little brother_. Another few soft touches, at his eyes and neck, showed that he was waking up slowly.

“Little brother?” Cass patted his clean cheek as his eyelashes started fluttering. “Okay?”

“Cass?” Tim frowned as he blinked, pushing at the man he was collapsed against again as his eyes took in Cass and their rescuers. Cass frowned as she saw how dilated his eyes were.

“Ahh it’s so sweet Fujiko!” Cass blinked and stared up at the gelled haired man as he shuffled Tim into a more comfortable position, and a position where she could easily see that the head one was the worst of his injuries. “We should have children!”

“And ruin my figure Lupin?” Fujiko snorted again and patted Cass’s short hair. “Beside Cassy here is much cuter than you~”

There was a long silence with a lot of blinking going on, and that’s when Cass turned her head around to get her fist good look at her rescuer. She already knew that a woman in a tight outfit similar to her own had rescued her but that was the extent. And then she noticed the long brown curls, mischievous smug grin, and the very large breasts. Breasts she had been cuddling against, Cass turned bright red and the world started spinning, and _touching,_ and wasn’t the sky so pretty even with the background explosions and wail of a police siren.

“Hey, Pops made it!”

“Cass? Cass!”

Tim sounded so worried, Cass had never made her little brother sound so worried before, and really it was strange to think she might be capable of worrying Tim. But the whirling sky and people staring at her were much more interesting.

For the first time in her life; Cassandra Cain fainted.


	3. Final Fantasy VII

If only Batman wasn’t so distrustful of magic maybe Tim would be more familiar with it. He sighed, getting up unsteadily as Cass pulled her cowl off, staring around the wasteland. All right so while Batman being Batman could be blamed for something’s Tim could easily have looked up basic defenses against magic himself.

Or they could have left Bruce on his own with the magic user.

“Not good.” Cass was looking around, barren wasteland that it was there wasn’t much to look at, but her senses were tingling. Her hair was starting to stand up on end.

“What is it?” Tim asked, peering around the dusty wasteland, actually a rather large dust cloud seemed to be moving closer.

“Very bad.” Cass moved closer to Tim as she tried to shove her younger brother behind her, not that it worked, as he glared at her for it. “Hide.”

“ _Cass_.”

The older woman ignored his irritated voice, grabbing his hand and running for an outcropping of stones. Running for their lives as the dust cloud got bigger, and closer, and started roaring with the wind. Clambering up into the rocks as a shadow started forming behind the clouds of dust.

Screaming broke out from both parties as a giant snake creature flew out of the dust, snapping at the rock, and sending tremors through the stone as its tail whacked against the outcropping. Fangs the length of city buses crashed against the rock, cracks starting to dance along the seam of rock, as it tried biting at the fresh meat.

Cass pushed Tim ahead of her, sending him stumbling into a smaller opening between rocks, turning around and throwing mini bombs at the snake’s head. She ducked the first swing of the head, and fangs that dragged furrows in the thick stone, attacking again with her short staffs as it went past.

Tim got to his knees where she’d thrown him, watching in shock as one of her staffs broke against a fang barely missing her, the entire outcrop shaking as the head impacted with the rock above Cass’s head.

“Cass smoke bombs!” Tim jumped as sharp fangs struck the rock between them, sending Cass spinning into another rock and falling limp at its edge. Mostly in another crevice in the rock but too close to where the snake could snag her.

“Cass!”

Tim somersaulted out of the way of the next attack, ducking the flying rock chunks, as the huge snake got a fang stuck in the rock. Tim lunged forwards, flinging the shuriken, and bashing down on the snake’s head with his bo staff

The snake reared backwards, pulling another chunk of rock and Tim with it, head shaking its head back and trying to get rid of the human clinging onto rough scales as they sliced through his gauntlets and cut deep into his skin.

“Cass! Wake up!” Tim used his last shuriken, stabbing at the creature’s eyes as it continued shaking him back and forth. “I could use some help!”

Cass stayed silent in the rocky crevice she’d landed, limp and broken looking, sending a spike of fear right through Tim’s heart. This made Tim stab harder at the eyes as the snake monster dove down at the rocks again. A strange sound, a mechanical noise, started intruding on his ears but Tim was too busy trying to save Cass and himself to care about a noise.

Then the shuriken fit home. Finally hitting the wet jelly of the snake’s eyeball, sending eye jelly and blood flying as the blade was pulled out and stabbed back into place again. The blood and gore splashed against Tim’s face and neck, burning where it hit bare skin, the head dropped and the through itself backwards; sending Tim flying through the air over the snake and towards the fast approaching ground.

Twisting in the air, one hand going to his belt trying to find the line launcher, and there was nothing to hook it to even if it was still there. Tim clenched his eyes shut, arms going in front of him and bracing for impact and death.

The last thing he heard was a soft ffummp noise that Tim associated with a rocket launcher. The last thing he saw was a rocket hitting the giant snake and both bursting into flame as they exploded and then the snake was wavering back and forth before it too started falling. The last thing he felt was warm arms catching him and flipping when he was still in the air.

“Hey, I gotcha.”

Dirt and dust flew upwards as they hit the ground at a much slower controlled fall, Tim gasped as he realized someone had _caught_ him and kept him from getting further hurt. Then he was dropped the few inches to the ground as his savior jumped up and started racing towards the still burning, thrashing snake.

Coughing Tim got to his knees and started running after the figure in black, falling to one side after a few steps and eating more dirt as he fell flat. Then he was up again and running a few more steps as he tried to get back to Cass.

The snake was still whipping around, cracking rocks from the outcropping Cass had been left in, dirt and dust flying into the air as the tail crashed against the ground, breaking it open.

A helicopter flew into view, hovering as it circled the angry dying snake, one tiny figure leaning out the side of it, sun reflecting of whatever the figure was holding, and it- a shiny rocket launcher. Tim ducked as it fired again, missing the actual snake, but impacting the ground next to it and throwing up a wall of dirt.

The man that had caught him was leaping, _to high it’s not possible to jump that high_ , through the collapsing wall, sun shining off a _sword_ as it was swung towards the dying animal. Blood flew everywhere as it connected and _bisected_ the serpent, leaving Tim to watch in shock from his knees as the serpent fell to either side of the swordsman in a blaze of fountaining blood and gore, while the hovering helicopter slowly made to land.

Tim got up and started running again, _Cass_ , racing to make sure his sister was still alive.

“Hey Blondie! Ruin all our fun why don’t ya.”

Racing past the two men leaning out of the helicopter as the rotors slowed down, scrambling back up the rock, tearing up his already ruined gauntlets and torn palms as he tried to get back to where he last saw Cass.

“Calm down,” The soft voice stopped Tim as the blond stranger came into view, helping Cass carefully limp her way down the rocks. “She’s okay. Just needs a restore.”

“Cass?” Tim touched at her face, looking over the bloody spots and wounds she’d earned from fighting the giant serpent and crashing face first into a towering rock.

“Okay Little Brother.” Cass smirked happily as she patted his face back and looked over the remains of the snake. “Beat up snake.”

The swordsman favored her with a small, secret, smile as he helped both vigilantes down the rocks where the men from the helicopter were arguing back and forth.

Well the man with long red hair was arguing for him and the huge bald man.

“See?! Blondie always shows up to steal all the cute ones! How is that fucking fair?”

“You’re not covered in zolom blood, Reno.” Blondie was still soft spoken as he snorted at the annoyed man.

“Someone has to do the important jobs.” The redhead snarked back.

Cass snorted from where the swordsman was keeping her vertical with one arm, clearly showing her disbelief.

“Hey Rude~” The redheaded Reno gave her the biggest grin Tim had ever seen from someone not Dick. “It’s the female you~”


	4. Discworld

_Si non confects, non reficiat_ __

“Oook.”

Tim opened his eyes and tilted his head back. He was surprisingly not startled for seeing what was apparently a giant orange Orangutan staring back at him. He closed his eyes briefly, rolling over onto all fours, and reopened his eyes to notice that yes. The large orangutan in red velvet robes was still standing, or sitting, in front of him.

“Cass?” Tim looked around, it was best for his sanity that he not think about why there was an orangutan in what appeared to be an extensive library. A very large library, Tim was certain that it was nearly as large as the Wayne Manor just from looking up and looking down the aisles.

“Oooook.”

One hand braced against books that felt oddly warm and familiar, Tim staggered to his feet, blinking again when a huge furry arm grabbed his elbow and helped steady him.

“Oh….uh thank you.” It was drilled in him to be polite to everyone and Simians counted as everyone. “Have you seen a woman my age? She’s dressed all in black and very quiet.”

“Ook.” The Orangutan nodded it’s head, keeping the warm hand firmly around Tim’s wrist, and started slowly pulling him down the long aisle of books.

“Where are we going?” Tim asked carefully, being careful and polite was all Tim had for dealing with apes larger than him.

“Oook ook.”

Tim could almost hear the whispers of words behind the noises the orangutan was making, whispers against his brain like frozen icicles a hairs breath away, but simians _couldn’t_ speak or make any noise he was capable of recognizing. He was getting that feeling that someone was watching him, a not nice type of someone, and all the books were shifting as he walked past creaking pages and dust flying.

A feminine scream cracked the soft noise of rustling books. Tim started running towards the sound, not noticing that the orangutan was loping a long behind him.

“Cass!”

Tim skidded to a halt as the aisle opened up into a study area, Cass was wrapped around a box with _hundreds of little feet_ wrestling as it banged her into the bookshelves, more books falling and thundering down on top of them.

Cass looked up briefly, most of her mask had been torn away and he could see the bright flash of bared teeth as she landed another blow to the moving box, a lot of her uniform had been ripped and the box was showing definite damage.

“Look you really don’t want to be doing that Miss!”

Tim twisted his head, still not sure what to do about Cass fighting a box, and saw the older man cowering back against the bookshelves farthest from the fighters. Mostly likely the owner of the high pitched scream. Currently he was twisting a red hat in his hands as he vibrated against the books.

“Really there’s no need-“ The man looked at Tim and the orangutan with clear relief. “Librarian would you please?”

Hands were waved at the two fighters _, it was a box with feet!_ , as they crashed into a table and Cass jumped trying to avoid a giant pink tongue.

The orangutan, _Librarian?_ , waddled forwards between the two fighters. One rubbery arm grabbed at Cass and lifted her off the growling box and pushing it away when it tried to chomp on her tangling feet. The leathery fist pounded on the upper lid when it tried again.

“There see?” The man in red robes, and now Tim could read the word Wizzard spelled out in glitter on the hat, clasping his hands together and looking smug now that the orangutan had broken up the fight. “That’s what fighting gets you!”

The luggage box growled again but backed off and sat, evil thoughts and desires clearly written upon its lid, glaring at where the Librarian was gently setting Cass down.

“Sapient pearwood.” The man told Tim, standing on his toes and rocking in place as he fixed his robes. “Unfortunately has a terrible case of homicidal urges towards anyone other than its owner. Even then…”

“Sapient?” Tim asked slowly as Cass made nasty gestures at the box behind the Librarian’s back.

“Oh yes!” The man was smug again, but there was an obvious twinge of sorrow behind the smile. “My Luggage. Sapient pearwood is very common in the Counterweight continent. Umm.”

Cass sidled up beside Tim, looking a little sulky as she glared back, and probed at his shoulder when he continued mouthing words.

“I’m sorry, this may be an odd question, but where are we?” Tim asked very slowly.

There was a pointed silence, well Cass and the Luggage where now studying each other, as Tim watched the ‘Wizzard’s’ and Librarian exchange looks. It wasn’t a dangerous look, or anything that Tim had expected, but a ‘oh no not again’ sort of look. The same kind of look Dick gave Slade when he asked Dick to be his apprentice, or the look Alfred got when one of his charges was being particularly difficult and obstinate, or even the look Tim himself got when villains started flirting with him.

It was a well known look.

“You are in the Library of the Unseen University, in the proud city of Ankh and pestilent Morpork, on the Discworld. I am Rincewind and this is the Librarian…and the Luggage.” The man, Rincewind, paused and prodded at his nose in pain. “Most likely you and your…ahem Friend have gotten lost in the L-Space.”

“The L-Space?” Tim resisted the urge to moan; Cass gave him her worried glance and patted his shoulder.

“Yes, this type of situations happen when you get a whole lot of words together. They’re not just going to sit on the page you know. It’s a very old magic.”

“Magic?” Tim asked slowly, Cass was making a face again. “You are a wizard?”

“Of course!” Rincewind was looking very smug while the Librarian rolled its eyes. “This is the Unseen University, only the best wizards are taught here.”

Both the Librarian and the Luggage were giving Rincewind flat looks. And it was hard to spot the expressions on a piece of wood.

“Really?” Tim didn’t know Cass could put such sarcasm into a word. Clearly she spent too much time with Jason. It certainly wasn’t Tim’s fault.

“Uh,” Rincewind the Wizzard gave Cass an uncertain look. “Yes. Otherwise there wouldn’t be any wizards I believe. And it is a relatively simple process to return you to your home. Most likely.”

“Ahem.”

Everyone including to homicidal Luggage turned to look at the stuffy looking young man standing between two much bigger men, one of which Tim was sure was made out of rocks.

“While your superiors work on that, Lord Vetinari would like to meet Ankh-Morpork’s two newest citizens.”

“Oh.” Rincewind looked very worried, a lot scared for his life, and had the ‘oh no’ look again. “How does he know?”

“He is the Patrician,” The small scribe looking man said slowly, or as one does to a particularly slow child. “He is paid to know everything.”

“Oh yes, of course.” Rincewind scratched at the hair poking out from under his hat. “I suppose that would be.”

“Lady and Sir?” The scribe looked perfectly mild at the transported vigilantes, but his body guards were looking tense. “If you would follow me. Lord Vetinari the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork would like to make your acquaintance.”

Tintin?

“Excuse me.”

Tim shook his head trying to shake the dizziness away which wasn’t exactly working, but he could see Cass next to him and she looked in one piece, so most likely they weren’t in any immediate danger.

“Could you please untie me? Before they get back that is.”

But that could change at any minute.

“Only you’re not tied up and well they will be back at any moment.”

Rolling to his knees, Tim pressed his head against the floor and groaned, feeling Cass do the same besides him.


End file.
